courage and control

Sometimes we have courage,

Sometimes we have control.

Sometimes luck grants us both,

Sometimes, none at all.

17/09/2022

The destruction left to clean up.

The numbness,

The inertia I can't overcome.

Laughter is only a memory,

Sadness personified I have become.

can there be solace?

I am now certified BPD person. Yet the meds were all OCD and depression. There's no DBT counselor in the institution, but still, getting the diagnosis is a start. 

28th April 2022

 As usual, my insides are rotten. It is like the inside of a rotten fruit, covered in tough shiny skin that still looks okay. It is only a matter of time before it bursts and shows its insides to the world. Survival is not guaranteed, or justified…