the days go by, somehow I don't know how

The day went by. I have done nothing today. It joined the list of the days that slip by me. The list keeps getting bigger, but my sanity keeps slipping further away. 

This hurts my loved ones. They think I am the laziest person in the world. I can't move out of the corner. I can't stop staring at my phone. They keep hurting me and I keep on hurting them. 

I fall silent. I can't get out of my head. The only reprieve is when I am staring at my phone. I can see something and lose my reality in the experience of it. When I stop, I feel the sadness soak back in. 

I can't do anything. My eyes are wet but I can't even cry. Everything Dies. Why won't I Die. I want to not exist anymore.

I don't want to exist anymore.

I don't want to be anymore.

I don't want to hurt anymore.

I don't want to feel empty anymore.

I don't want to exist anymore.